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I am tired, and I am frustrated.  It has been a rough few days with massive and painful coughing fits that seem to occur as I am trying to eat. I am having to be very selective and careful with what I eat so as not to throw myself into a major coughing fit that will take the rest of the day to calm down.  I guess the good news is that these fits have made it very clear to me that the issue I have been dealing with is in my esophagus. At least I am certain of that now. I think because every specialist I have seen has said my coughing had to do with my airways and respiratory system, I believed them because they are specialists in this field. I am not. But after the last few days of paying very close attention to what sets these coughing fits off, I am absolutely certain that my cough has to do with my esophagus. I am thinking that I have an acid issue or something called EOE (Eosinophilic Esophagitis). I don't know for sure and won't know until I can get an Endoscope done.  The

End of the Year, Morning Musings~

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  December 31, 2021 Today is the last day of 2021. Another year has whizzed by. It doesn't feel like a full year has passed. And yet, here we are at the threshold of the end and the beginning. As I sit on the edge of 2021 and the beginning of 2022, I don't feel joy or excitement. I don't feel doom and gloom either. Mostly, I feel humbled and deeply reflective. Maybe, I feel a little bit sad and am noticing a sort of melancholy that is present?  I guess what's been on my mind has been the most recent events. Last week, 5 people were shot and murdered in Denver, Colorado. A senseless act that was obviously planned and carried out. And now children and families are experiencing deep grief from devastating loss. And as of yesterday, Boulder, Colorado, is on fire. Many homes have already burned down, families are displaced and the dry conditions and raging winds are only fanning the flames. It seems impossible that there could be a fire like this in winter when there should

The Sacred in Sacrifice

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  The Sacred in Sacrifice~ I signed up for another writing course with Mary Angelon and Christina Sell called "Pathways of Return" and it's already been so nourishing and insightful. And we are only 3 weeks in. I really cannot speak highly enough of these two teachers (and Regina Sara Ryan too!).  Anyway, after hearing the story of Jumping Mouse (look it up!), we had several questions to contemplate. I chose the question that stood out the most for me. Here is what came out... In your life, where do see the theme of sacrifice?  In my life, I see the theme of sacrifice in Motherhood. This has been an interesting consideration because I think I've somehow come to believe that sacrifice is something mothers 'have to do'. And I think for me, I have come to see sacrifice as something negative. And maybe at times in my Mothering life, I have felt I had to give-up everything for my kids and husband for the greater good of the family in general. And there is some trut

Morning Thoughts~

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My Sundays begin in the early morning quiet. I climb out of bed, pull on my pajama bottoms, open the blinds and curtains to let the light in, and head for the kitchen for coffee. I pour my coffee and then head back to my room to sit in the quiet to listen and feel into what it is I want to share or needs to be shared with the group on that day.  This Sunday was the same. In addition to sitting, sipping my coffee, sitting quietly and listening, I felt the sudden urge to write. I could feel this ache in my heart, a tenderness that was rising to the surface. So I grabbed my pen and journal and listened. From there on out, I just try to keep up with the words I hear. Here's my entry: May 3, 2020 My heart is tender and aching for something, but I don't know what it is. Maybe I am feeling the tender emotions of the world this morning? Maybe there is a sadness in the air, a waiting, an atmosphere of worry hanging about that I am picking up on? Whatever it is, I feel it. 

Wait~

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Today has been a strange, hard day for various reasons. And as I am stuck at home without my weekly teaching schedule to keep me anchored and focused, I have had plenty of time to think about a lot of things. And a lot of things are coming up for me, and I am sure I am not alone in this.  The truth is that I am feeling the sadness and the unexpected grief that this whole Coronavirus situation has brought about. One of the things that  I realized is that I have been teaching at least 2 public classes, or more, a week for the last 15 years. May 2nd would have been my 16th year of teaching. I taught before I was married and throughout my pregnancies and have only taken short breaks all these years. I took a short break after we first moved to Tucson and after each child was born but that's it.  I miss my weekly public classes and the community of which I have been a part of. The people who attend my weekly classes are such good, loving, kind people, and they have become a big pa

Homebound

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I'm sitting at home on a beautiful day. The first day of Spring. It's windy and bright outside. The clouds have fluff and are filling the sky with ever changing shapes. And the air outside is incredibly fresh after yesterday's downpour, making it the perfect first day of Spring. I want to tell you that I feel optimistic and good, but I find myself feeling so strange and unfocused since news of the Coronavirus broke. And the whole world is either under lockdown or self-quarantine. And for many of us, this is a massive change in our lives. Mine and my family's days are not not so different than usual. We home/unschool our kids already so that part is not different at all. But for a majority of the world, the whole family is home more than ever before, which I am sure is both great and slightly overwhelming. Since my family and I spend a lot of time at home anyway, you would think that this would not feel so strange to us. But it does feel strange. It all feels st

Empath

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Ok people- I highly recommend you give this book a listen to as I’m sure it will resonate with you or am guessing you have people in your life who are true Empaths.  I usually prefer to read books rather than listen to them but I really got a lot out of this book! So I am sharing it with you.  (Empath by Elliot Harper, narrated by Sam Slydell -Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B07S6CHPNP&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006 ) I think I’ve always known that I am a sensitive soul and person and that I feel things more deeply than most and that I understand the world through energy, but I don’t think that I realized that I am an Empath. And I don’t just mean I’m a little bit Empathic. I am empathic to a high degree.   I pick up things people don’t even know they are giving off energetically and they can be miles away! I’m   not exactly sure how such a thing can be measured, but after listening to this book I feel my conclusion or assessment is